Week Eight, Discussion Guide

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Week Eight Discussion Guide

Your Week Eight Discussion Guide is now available online.CLICK HERE to download the discussion guide.

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Week Seven Men chapters 13-14; Women chapters20-21

Week Seven Discussion Guide

Your Week Seven Discussion Guides are now available online.NOTE that there are two different guides this week. 1 for the men, and 1 for the ladies.LADIES: CLICK HERE to download the PINK discussion guide.MEN: CLICK HERE to download the BLUE discussion guide.You will need Adobe Reader, which is available free if you click here.

This is an actual tombstone in TN. I'm thinking their marriage could have used some LOVE/RESPECT... Notice the use of the scriptures. We think it's interesting on how "right" people believe they are no matter what they do.

Week Six Discussion Guide
Your Week Six Discussion Guides are now available online. NOTE that there are two different guides this week. 1 for the men, and 1 for the ladies

.LADIES: CLICK HERE to download the PINK discussion guide.

MEN: CLICK HERE to download the BLUE discussion guide.

You will need Adobe Reader, which is available free if you click here.

Week Five Discussion Guide

Your Week Five Discussion Guides are now available online.
NOTE that there are two different guides this week. 1 for the men, and 1 for the ladies.

LADIES: CLICK HERE to download the PINK discussion guide.

MEN: CLICK HERE to download the BLUE discussion guide.


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Week Four Discussion Guide / Chapter 7

Thanks for a great discussion. We enjoy meeting with you today. We missed those of you who weren't able to come. Hope to see you next week. Keep reading and remember how much you get from this study will depend on how much you put into it. God bless you this week.


Your Week Four Discussion Guide is now available online.

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Definitons and a few thoughts

Last week we talked about definitions of some of the words used in the different translations and terms used in the chapters. I copied these definitions from the Merrium-Webster Dictionary to assist in our clarification of terms.

We believe this study is an exercise in faith. We do this because God told us to and we are "throwing ourselves out there" making ourselves vulnerable to possibly getting hurt as an act of good will between ourselves and our spouse and obedience to God. We intend to use this study to improve our relationship with one another, not as a point of contention and justification to accuse.


REVERENCE
Pronunciation: \ˈrev-rən(t)s, ˈre-və-; ˈre-vərn(t)s\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin reverentia, from reverent-, reverens respectful, reverent
Date: 14th century
1: honor or respect felt or shown :
">deference ; especially : profound adoring awed
: a gesture of respect (as a bow)
3: the state of being revered">revered
4: one held in reverence —used as a title for a clergyman
synonyms see
REVERE
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈvir\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): re·vered; re·ver·ing
Etymology: Latin revereri, from re- + vereri to fear, respect — more at wary
Date: 1615 : to show devoted deferential honor to
: regard as worthy of great honor

synonyms revere , reverence , venerate , worship , adore mean to honor and admire profoundly and respectfully. revere stresses deference and tenderness of feeling . reverence presupposes an intrinsic merit and inviolability in the one honored and a similar depth of feeling in the one honoring . venerate implies a holding as holy or sacrosanct because of character, association, or age . worship implies homage usually expressed in words or ceremony . adore implies love and stresses the notion of an individual and personal attachment .

RESPECT
Pronunciation:\ri-ˈspekt\
Function: noun
Etymology:Middle English, from Latin respectus, literally, act of looking back, from respicere to look back, regard, from re- + specere to look — more at spy
Date: 14th century
1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation
2: an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3 a: high or special regard : esteem b: the quality or state of being esteemed cplural : expressions of respect or deference
4: particular , detail
— in respect of chiefly British : with respect to : concerning
— in respect to
: with respect to : concerning
— with respect to
: with reference to : in relation to


CONSIDERATION
Pronunciation: \kən-ˌsi-də-ˈrā-shən\
Function: noun
Date:
14th century
1: continuous and careful thought
2 a: a matter weighed or taken into account when formulating an opinion or plan esteem , regard
6 a: recompense , payment
b: the inducement to a contract or other legal transaction ; specifically : an act or forbearance or the promise thereof done or given by one party in return for the act or promise of another
— in consideration of
: as payment or recompense for


HONOR
Pronunciation: \ˈä-nər\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French onur, honur, from Latin honos, honor
Date: 13th century
1 a: good name or public esteem : reputation
b: a showing of usually merited respect : recognition
2: privilege
3: a person of superior standing —now used especially as a title for a holder of high office
4: one whose worth brings respect or fame : credit
5: the center point of the upper half of an armorial escutcheon
6: an evidence or symbol of distinction: as a: an exalted title or rank
b (1): badge , decoration
(2): a ceremonial rite or observance
c: an award in a contest or field of competition darchaic : a gesture of deference : bow eplural
(1): an academic distinction conferred on a superior student
(2): a course of study for superior students supplementing or replacing a regular course
7: chastity , purity
8 a: a keen sense of ethical conduct : integrity
b: one's word given as a guarantee of performance
9 plural : social courtesies or civilities extended by a host
10 a
(1): an ace, king, queen, jack, or ten especially of the trump suit in bridge
(2): the scoring value of honors held in bridge —usually used in plural
b: the privilege of playing first from the tee in golf
synonyms honor , homage , reverence , deference mean respect and esteem shown to another. honor may apply to the recognition of one's right to great respect or to any expression of such recognition . homage adds the implication of accompanying praise . reverence implies profound respect mingled with love, devotion, or awe . deference implies a yielding or submitting to another's judgment or preference out of respect or reverence .synonyms see in addition honesty


ADMIRATION
Pronunciation: \ˌad-mə-ˈrā-shən\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century
1archaic : wonder
2: an object of esteem
3: delighted or astonished approbation


LOVE
Pronunciation: \ˈləv\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lēof dear, Latin lubēre, libēre to please
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
(2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
b: an assurance of love
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3 a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
b (1): a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment
(2)British —used as an informal term of address
4 a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as
(1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others
b: a person's adoration of God
5: a god or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : love affair
: inspired by affection


CHERISH
Pronunciation: \ˈcher-ish, ˈche-rish\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English cherisshen, from Anglo-French cheriss-, stem of cherir to cherish, from cher dear, from Latin carus — more at charity
Date: 14th century
1 a: to hold dear : feel or show affection for
b: to keep or cultivate with care and affection :
nurture
2: to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely
synonyms see appreciate
— cher·ish·able \-i-shə-bəl\ adjective
— cher·ish·er \-i-shər\ noun


APPRECIATE
Pronunciation:\ə-ˈprē-shē-ˌāt, -ˈpri- also -ˈprē-sē-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s):ap·pre·ci·at·ed; ap·pre·ci·at·ing
Etymology: Late Latin appretiatus, past participle of appretiare, from Latin ad- + pretium price — more at price
Date: 1655
transitive verb1 a: to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of
b: to value or admire highly
c: to judge with heightened perception or understanding : be fully aware of
d: to recognize with gratitude
2: to increase the value ofintransitive verb: to increase in number or value
— ap·pre·ci·a·tor \-ˌā-tər\ noun
— ap·pre·cia·to·ry \-ˈprē-shə-ˌtȯr-ē, -ˈpri-shə-\ adjective
synonyms appreciate , value , prize , treasure , cherish mean to hold in high estimation. appreciate often connotes sufficient understanding to enjoy or admire a thing's excellence . value implies rating a thing highly for its intrinsic worth . prize implies taking a deep pride in something one possesses . treasure emphasizes jealously safeguarding something considered precious . cherish implies a special love and care for something .synonyms see in addition understand

DARLING
Pronunciation: \ˈdär-liŋ\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English derling, from Old English dēorling, from dēore dear
Date: before 12th century
1 : a dearly loved person
2 : favorite

Function: adjective
Date: 15th century
1 : dearly loved : favorite
2 : very pleasing : charming
— dar·ling·ly \-liŋ-lē\ adverb
— dar·ling·ness noun

VALUE
Pronunciation:\ˈval-(ˌ)yü\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, worth, high quality, from Anglo-French, from Vulgar Latin *valuta, from feminine of *valutus, past participle of Latin valēre to be of worth, be strong — more at wield
Date: 14th century
1: a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money for something exchanged
2: the monetary worth of something : market price
3: relative worth, utility, or importance
4: a numerical quantity that is assigned or is determined by calculation or measurement
5: the relative duration of a musical note
6 a: relative lightness or darkness of a color : luminosity
b: the relation of one part in a picture to another with respect to lightness and darkness
7: something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable
8: denomination 2


UNDERSTANDING
Pronunciation: \ˌən-dər-ˈstan-diŋ\
Function: noun
Date: before 12th century
1: a mental grasp : comprehension
2 a: the power of comprehending ; especially : the capacity to apprehend general relations of particulars
b: the power to make experience intelligible by applying concepts and categories
3 a: friendly or harmonious relationship
b: an agreement of opinion or feeling : adjustment of differences
c: a mutual agreement not formally entered into but in some degree binding on each side4: explanation , interpretation
5: sympathy 3a

HARSH
Pronunciation: ˈhärsh\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English harsk, of Scandinavian origin; akin to Norwegian harsk harsh
Date: 14th century
1: having a coarse uneven surface that is rough or unpleasant to the touch
2 a: causing a disagreeable or painful sensory reaction : irritating
b: physically discomforting : painful
3: unduly exacting : severe
4: lacking in aesthetic appeal or refinement : crude
synonyms see rough
— harsh·ly adverb
— harsh·ness noun

Week 3: Discussion Guide

Thank you for a great discussion on Sunday. It was great to meet each of you. If you weren't able to make it Sunday, we were able to discuss the first two chapters. We hope to catch up on the chapters 3 and 4 as well as 5 and 6 this Sunday. So be ready with those chapters and we will do the best we can. If you haven't paid for your book, please do so as soon as possible.

Your Week Three Discussion Guide is now available online. CLICK HERE to download the discussion guide. You will need Adobe Reader, which is available free if you click here.

I am sorry, if you click on the headings, it will take you to his guide. If you just click on the "click here" part, it will take you where I want you to go. Like I said, i am trying to get the bugs out...

Ok, I want you to know we are new to this blogging thing. {grin} I don't have a website set up at this point to download the study guides to, so I am sending you to another website of a friend's who led this study in the fall at his church. I hope to get my own website set up soon, but in the meantime, if you click on a link and it takes you to a place where the dates are in the fall of last year, just know it's not ours. Our blog is in the red format. The homework questions and study guides are the same material and are what you need to see on his site. I can't seem to get them loaded on this blog at the moment. I hope to have these things solved soon. Thank you for your patience.

As we prepare for Sunday's discussion, make sure you don't discuss anything in our class that you haven't preapproved with your spouse. We don't want to be disrespectful of each other's feelings.

Week One Discussion Guide
Your Week One Discussion Guide is now available online. CLICK HERE to download the discussion guide.You will need Adobe Reader, which is available free if you click here.

review of week one - HOMEWORK
In light of our first session called by the beautiful snow storm. We will need to double up on our discussion this week. So be prepared to discuss through chapter 4. If we need to, we can carry over to the next week. We will just have to see how much we can get done well.

There are a few KEY things to discuss with your spouse, and be ready to discuss in next week's group (In addition to the Week Two Discussion Guide questions).

1. Unconditional love & unconditional respect - what do each of these look like to you?

2. Discuss "Decoding the Code", question # 9 from week one, and how you sometimes send messages to each other "in code" (i.e. what they say is not what they really mean).

3. How does Emerson define good-willed on the top of page 35? (see question # 16 from week one) Put this definition in your own words beginning with: "My spouse..."

Have a blessed week and keep talking with your spouse. And by all means, try to avoid the Crazy Cycle! :-)

Week Two Discussion Guide
Your Week Two Discussion Guide is available online.CLICK HERE to download the discussion guide.You will need Adobe Reader, which is available free if you click here.

Services have been canceled.

Services have been canceled.

WEEK ONE REVIEW

Week 1, Chapters 1 and 2

Hi! We wanted to remind you that our Bible Study begins today. We will meet in the B Building at 4:45 upstairs in the middle room. The children will meet in the end first floor room.

Remember to read the first two chapters before the class. We are excited to see you and begin our time together.

If you need to contact us, Joe's cellular number is 404-895-1466 and Tonya's is 404-556-6767.

The cost of the book is $12. You can pay in installments if neccesary. The class schedule is posted on the blog site. We will have postings regarding the class on this blog.

The Five Love Languages

Cliff Notes version from http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/


Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.
To learn more about this Love Language, take a good look at Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages.

Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.

Receiving Gifts

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.

Physical Touch

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.
Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.